'I-28Sfuuy-WR10okMSia3VYeZTm2RHA2LZDel59TlF8' name='google-site-verification'/>www ghs.google.com 6dseurqgapmn gv-v6egtfduggmq3k.dv.googlehosted.com Autismwarriormama: September 2012

Living with Autism


September 22, 2012

Sociopaths who Prey on Autistic Population: Hardest Type to Catch

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What Parents of Autistic Children and Adults Should Know about Dangerous Caregivers

  1. Stealth abuse is the most dangerous kind of abuse. It's not the kind of abuse that happens when someone has a meltdown for multiple reasons, and strikes out one time. We're talking about abuse that is done by stealth abusers, who, by their nature, are often SOCIOPATHS. These types are attracted to positions of power, positions where their victims are isolated and vulnerable and positions where they can hide in groups. 

  1. Stealth abuse is furtive, secret and imperceptible (unless you catch it on video surveillance)

  1. Stealth abusers operate under color of authority and often masquerade as caring, professionals, “here to help.”

  1. Stealth abusers are masters at manipulating people in real time, but aren’t as savvy when they’re alone, and nobody is around (another reason video surveillance that records helps detect their covert abuse)

  1. Stealth abusers often enlist family members (usually younger vulnerable ones who easily brainwashed) to defend their actions, at all costs, since they’ve worked on these family members using different forms of abuse, for instance, financial control, blackmail or unwarranted shame and humiliation tactics (warranted VS unwarranted, as in difference between media shaming child abusers vs. an abusive father shaving his son’s head because he didn’t take out the garbage)

  1. Stealth abusers study the victim to learn how to cover the abuse done (for instance, a stealth abuser caring for an Alzheimer’s patient may say she’s ‘lost her mind’ if she claims she’s being abused)

  1. Stealth abusers passively aggressively retaliate against victims and their families if they attempt to expose abuse or have exposed abuse (i.e...making anonymous calls to various agencies accusing the victim or victim’s family of wrongdoing, slashing tires, spiking food, poisoning animals or breaking appliances)

  1. Stealth abusers often have clear backgrounds (they’ve never been convicted of a felony, and if charged they are always, in their minds, innocent). Or, they've been convicted of some type of abuse, but it was later changed to a lesser charge. 

  1. Stealth abusers are often people who infiltrate your lives while they hold high positions of power, or possess professional training skills

  1. Stealth abusers like to shift the blame (i.e...blaming victim or victim’s family for abuse)

  1. Stealth abusers learn how to work every vulnerable spot of the victim’s life, for instance a self injurious autistic client/patient is easy prey, because, in the absence of video surveillance, injuries can be blamed on self-abuse.

  1. Stealth abusers can make victims and families feel crazy for suspecting abuse. Often times, stealth abusers are sociopaths. They know what they're doing is wrong. And they don't give a damn. No remorse.  

Would hiring a private investigator uncover these monsters? Not likely. Why? Because the abuse is ambient, furtive and imperceptible to even trained eyes

One has to understand the world these types of abusers live in, and how they operate.

Unless the stealth abuser is in direct contact with the victim, it is impossible to catch the abuse. Stealth abusers aren’t going around telling people they abuse their victims. In fact, they do the OPPOSITE. They tell everyone how they're trying to "help" the person. Some abusers (usually psychopaths or teens with serious mental issues) will post their abuse, but not the adult stealth abuser.

No, this guy or gal saves his abuse for seconds he thinks nobody is looking.

And as if you're watching a split screen, this person can switch back and forth into the wonderful helpful intelligent person they want you to think they are, back to the monster they really are.

They are also experts at accusing others of what they do. Eventually, they are discovered to be frauds and live with an underlying fear of utter impotence, because deep down inside they hate themselves and want to destroy others.

They are truly damaged people. Almost none of them seek help to repair their dark souls, because, in their minds, there is nothing wrong with them, it's always someone else. That's how they justify their abuse. Victim blaming. Or they act "offended" and "feel accused" when you accuse them of something you have direct evidence of. 

Hence, the only way you catch this TYPE of abuser is by VIDEO surveillance. 

Families raising vulnerable autistic children and adults must realize how important it is to get video in rooms where caregivers are watching your autistic child. Good caregivers don’t mind being watched. A stealth abuser despises being watched and thinks he can avoid detection or is somehow able to beat the odds of being caught on video. Eventually, however, as time ticks, the stealth abuser, because he is a monster, will no longer care if he’s watched and will create the illusion in his mind that he can do whatever he wants and not be caught.

Do not hesitate to install video surveillance in your home if you feel your autistic child is being abused, especially if the child is non-verbal.

If your child is in a group home, don’t bother to ask for video surveillance as the State of California claims it’s a violation of the disabled person’s “civil rights” to have a camera in a state run and funded home or institution. Go figure.

Autism advocates are fighting this. Indeed, those who have autistic children or siblings or friends who have been killed within a state funded group home or institution, are demanding, through legislative action, video surveillance. I think it’s a great pro-active and acute protection.

After all, my autistic son would still be being victimized by stealth abusers if we didn’t put in video surveillance. It’s the only effective way to capture the sick reality of stealth abuse.

What more can be done to protect vulnerable autistic people in our society?

For starters, state agencies such as California Regional Centers should step up and take a more active role in providing safe supports and resources for families who need nursing or behavioral respite care. Simply sending a family a list of caregivers doesn’t cut it. Nor does referring a family to a nursing agency, especially when the agency they are referred to, repeatedly says they have no nurses.

In light of what has happened to my autistic son, will society simply be temporarily outraged and saddened by my son’s story? Will people make drive by comments and then go back to their lives? Will professionals express outrage, but then go back to their cubicles, seminars and symposiums and take no corrective action to ensure no family receiving respite care must be burdened with the sole responsibility for ensuring caregivers are kind, compassionate and qualified individuals matched to the individual needs of a client, consumer or patient?

What exactly is San Diego Regional Center doing? What is Adult Protective Services (APS) doing? APS is a good agency, but these places are reactive agencies. They don't have any power to prevent abuse. Or gather evidence.

APS waltzes in when there’s a bruise, has no medial, behavioral or autism expertise or knowledge of the complex, fragmented funding system serving disabled, writes a report and splits. They are in no position to set up, monitor or advocate for video surveillance in group homes or other facilities that are caring for vulnerable adults. 

In essence, these are agencies that aren’t going to detect or discern stealth abuse by no fault of their own, they simply aren't given the power to do it. 

Sadly, this vigilant gathering of evidence will fall on parents or vendors of facilities caring for vulnerable disabled adults or elderly. It seems we have no choice. Should it remain that way?

Why aren't their LAWS demanding that video surveillance be in every residential care facility receiving state and/or federal funds? 

You could be creative in the monitoring. You could have people with OCD monitoring the surveillance. Or insomniacs. And people with Aspergers love this stuff.  Nobody would monitor surveillance better than a person with OCD/Aspergers.  These are the people that when they take an MMPI and answer yes to they see things others don't...they aren't crazy. They have excellent observations skills. Sounds funny, but it's true. 

If state agencies charged with duty to provide supports and services to autistic individuals truly care about autism community, they will do more to help effect change, instead of asking the same old questions, calling for more meetings, writing more reports and then trudging back to their offices and doing the same old nothing.


How change will happen will depend upon the soft hearts and sharp minds of caring individuals inside California Regional Centers and other agencies funding services and supports for families of autistic children and adults.

We’re beyond the autism awareness factor now. We know. Now it is time to act.

State funded agencies must offer families of autistic children and adults a richer and more diverse pool of highly screened respite care professionals who can help support our children in the home, and if needed, in a group home. No more excuses. Let’s work together to protect all autistic individuals in our community.

Kim Oakley, Mother of Jamey

September 19, 2012

California Regional Centers Serving Disabled People? Let's do Better

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First: There are some really dedicated, caring, intelligent and creative people that work in one of the 21 Regional Centers scattered across California. This in no way reflects on them, but I'm putting here because, well, it's truth. It's reality. And unless we face it, we can't change what's wrong. We can't make things better. We learn from our mistakes, right? We hope the things we do wrong, inspire us to do better. We hope those that lead, when they see such pervasive problems in their organization, would be highly motivated to make a positive impact on providing the best services and supports to our most vulnerable citizens.

So here we go. Here's what I found about some of California's Regional Centers.

Multiple Discrimination Lawsuits Filed Against Self-Proclaimed Advocate of Individual Rights San Diego Regional Center

 San DIEGO, CA -- (MARKET WIRE) -- February 23, 2006 -- Handal & Associates has filed a second lawsuit against the San Diego Regional Center for the Developmentally Disabled ("SDRC") alleging that SDRC has engaged in an active campaign to rid itself of disabled employees and employees over the age of 40.

In the lead lawsuit, Fuess v. San Diego Regional Center for the Developmentally Disabled, filed in the San Diego Superior Court, Plaintiff, Marie Fuess, former SDRC employee, alleges that she was forced to endure a year of harassment and intolerable working conditions at SDRC until she was finally terminated without cause.

Both suits further allege SDRC maintains a culture of fear and intimidation and that a routine practice for supervisors is to harass, threaten, and intimidate employees to quit in order to save costs on health care, retirement benefits, or other costs associated with older employees and those with disabilities.

SDRC is non-profit organization which receives both state and federal funding.

SDRC contracts with the California State Department of Developmental Services to assist persons in San Diego and Imperial counties who have developmental disabilities.

On its website, (http://www.sdrc.org/c_home.php ) SDRC states that its corporate goals include protecting individual rights through advocacy. 

  • Historical Evidence showing California's Regional Centers Have Some Serious Issues that Have Never been Resolved....

San Francisco Chronicle: August 4, 1997; Agencies for disabled in disarray. “The sprawling bureaucracy that controls more than $1 billion a year for developmentally disabled Californians is plagued by mismanagement and financial abuses so severe that the health and safety of the disabled have been jeopardized. State officials have known for two decades of serious problems in the network of 21 private, state-funded regional centers…More than 100 interviews and thousands of pages of audits, state reports and court documents revealed that some centers have been linked to embezzlement, fraud and unethical financial deals. 

Hundreds of children and adults with varying degrees of...autism....have received inadequate services—or no services at all—though the state and federal governments have increased regional center budgets by millions of dollars a year.”

  • December 5, 1997, Chronicle writer Edward W. Lempinen, wrote: In a scathing report hand-delivered to top state officials yesterday, the U.S. Health Care Financing Administration criticized the state for risking the health and safety of the disabled, lax state oversight of their care and mismanagement of federal funds… Disabled people and their families who complain about services sometimes suffer retaliation from those who oversee their care.”

  • Since the 1997 San Francisco investigative news coverage the only thing proposed to help track and monitor disabled people within the Regional Center has been in 2006: Under the client-tracking legislation, SB 571, each regional center would have to submit a Client Development Evaluation Report on each client at least every 15 months. The Department of Developmental Services, the primary agency monitoring Regional Centers opposed the bill. The bill was later gutted. Why would an agency appointed to protect disabled oppose a bill protecting disabled? Because these agencies don’t want the public to see the pervasive systematic neglect of disabled.

  • June 23, 2001, Los Angeles Times: “State officials have moved to revoke the licenses of 14 homes and day care centers for developmentally disabled adults operated by an Anaheim company accused of allowing clients to be sexually and physically abused….California Department of Social Services accused Westview Services of a variety of health and safety violations at the facilities, which are licensed to serve about 530 people in Orange and Los Angeles counties.”

  • March 18, 2001 San Francisco Chronicle: “In 1965, the legislature created two pilot organizations for providing community services in San Francisco and Los Angeles. Called regional centers, they served as nonprofit brokers between state coffers and local suppliers of housing, training and other services to the disabled… State legislators, though, soon learned of serious problems in the new community care system. Reports and audits submitted to them in 1976 and 1988 described abuses of power, high turnover among social workers, poor accounting practices and chronic budget deficits at the regional centers.” But the Executive Directors make upwards of $200,000 a year...

  • February 25, 2001, The Sacramento Bee reported: “…a class-action lawsuit filed last year in an Oakland federal court on behalf of several disabled Californians and a handful of advocacy groups…. Allegations are that the state has failed to provide adequate services for disabled people….” It's 2014 and nothing much has changed...

  • January 12-18, 2005, Silicon Valley's Weekly Newspaper: “Oversight at community-care facilities has been riddled with controversy since 1997, when the San Francisco Chronicle published a series of stories that shed light on serious problems...”

  • Jan 01, 2007, Sacramento Bee reported ongoing saga of failed system serving disabled. Latest discovery: "Failure of Regional Centers to monitor or protect disabled has led to hundreds of DEATHS of disabled persons"

Why are some California Regional Centers good, and others so screwed up? Let's start from the top at San Diego Regional Center.

His name is Carlos Flores.
He's the executive director at SDRC.

Flores has a nice thing going at SDRC: He's married to the "assistant chief case manager", Nina Garrett. They attend many meetings together where funding issues and money are discussed, but nobody seems to give a shit.

Flores and Garrett have never filed a conflict of interest report, though they demand others who work for SDRC file one.

It's a very strange situation.

According to SDRC transparency site, Executive Director Carlos Flores is raking in $250,000 a year. Meanwhile, he's sending parents of disabled children notices of actions cutting and denying services because San Diego Regional Center is concerned about being "cost effective."

San Diego Regional Center is a NON PROFIT agency providing social services under contract with California Department of Developmental Services (DDS). That contract mandates the San Diego Regional Center provide services and supports to California's developmentally disabled population.  I understand the need to be cost effective, and pay an Executive Director a good salary, but let's get real here.  Pay them the salary when they've proven they can do their job and haven't just found a place to hide. 

In regards to Executive Directors of non profits, New Jersey recently passed a *bill (HB 893) that limits what nonprofit groups can pay their chief executives if they are providing social services under state contracts. I guess California hasn't caught up with the East Coast. 

*The bill would call for a commission to study $100,000 salary caps for employees at state-supported nonprofits, as well as research into whether lawmakers should ban the use of tax dollars for salaries.

Carlos Flores, Salary   SEE him at #63 in San Diego Union Tribune article:

September 13, 2012

More Hope for Autistic Persons with Epilepsy

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According to a September 6th, 2012 Fox News report, scientists from the University of California, San Diego and Yale schools of medicine discovered giving massive doses of Branch Chain Amino Acids (BCAAs) reduces neurobehavioral symptoms in mice who have the same genetics as SOME autistic individuals with epilepsy.

The strange part about this study is some of the parents in the study are apparently “related to each other.” That’s weird.

One wonders how closely they were related. The article doesn’t say. Well, since my autistic son’s biological father is in no way related to me, I guess we don’t qualify for this study.

Yet, it is of interest that amino acid supplementation of BCAAs (leucine, isoleucine and valine) is a potential treatment for autism and epilepsy.

Interestingly, doctors often prescribe IV amino acids for people who have suffered traumatic brain injuries, systemic infections or are under extreme stress from some type of serious injury.

Given my son also suffers from chronic self-injurious behaviors it would therefore make sense to supplement his diet with BCCAs.

There’s one catch.

Research also shows branch chain amino acids compete with amino acid Tryptophan, which is responsible for elevating serotonin levels in the brain. Thus, if the autistic person with epilepsy is serotonin deficient, one might consider also supplementing with 5HTP or L-Tryptophan. Of course you won’t know if the autistic person is deficient in serotonin unless doctors do a pet scan or use other diagnostic tools to test serotonin levels. Good luck getting that order.

Oral supplementation (liquid form best) appears to be most effective way to ingest BCAAs.

What foods are highest in BCAAs?

Research shows soybeans, salami (Yuk), peanuts, egg yolks (Yum), wheat germ and beef are high in LEUCINE.

Eggs, fish, cheese, oats, tofu and raw soy meal are high in ISOLEUCINE.

Lentils, black beans, garbanzo beans, cottage cheese, chicken, cheese, potatoes and broccoli are high in VALINE. 

Kim Oakley